Today debuts my series on Marriage. Setting a goal to write every week has been a challenge. I’ve become aware of not only my flaws: laziness, distractibility, being fickle, but also it has given me time for self evaluation. So, if I don’t come away with sharing some good news about marriage, then I’ve learned something of value; that setting goals accomplishes plenty.
How to Love Your Husband More:
1) I think realizing that what the experts say, that marriage takes work, is the first step in loving your husband more. Loving someone doesn’t come naturally. If left to our own humanness, we seek to be loved, we crave to be wined and dined, massaged and cared for. There is nothing wrong with wanting these things or desiring to be loved, but we need to ask ourselves, “Do I have an attitude of love towards my husband? “What is the last loving thing I’ve done to help our relationship move forward?”
Our husbands are both easy to love and most difficult. I tend to believe that it’s more often difficult than it is easy, especially as the years go by. I’ve been married for 17 years and sadly, I’m only now realizing how immature my love was for my husband in the first years of our marriage.
I’m still learning and growing in my relationship, so I’m no expert. I just wanted to share a few things I’ve learned in hopes of encouraging married people; in hopes of being a part of what makes marriages work and not end.
In the spirit of this first step, my first recommendation is to wake up determined to be kind. This is most important because it will set the tone of the day. A loving tone. Remind yourself, that this goal will be even more work when it’s cold outside, the clouds are gray and or when you’re feeling run down. I’m not saying to ignore your own needs or feelings, I’m just saying to act in kindness toward your husband. I can guarantee that he’ll be more receptive to what you’re feeling if you treat him with kindness.
So, make up your mind to be kind. Kindness is contagious. Smiling is contagious and so is hugging. Even if you just say thank you and please for the day, that is practicing step one.
Following is one of my favorite marriage verses in the bible: Though there are seasons of loneliness or of being alone, we are made for relationship. I also believe that the third cord, who is God, must be intertwined with the two. We can’t do this relationship thing without Him. It will not be as strong without His help.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.
“Photo courtesy of camera_addict,”
Here’s a story from a good friend with a great marriage message. Enjoy!